The less I feel like anyone wants to listen to me.
I have hit a wall in my search for a doctor who will acknowledge that I know just as much if not MORE than he does. This latest doctor is the worst! Not only is he the worst, he loves himself WAY TOO MUCH. He says that he is working with Minimed, consulting with them to change things, but the changes he suggests do NOT coincide with how I manage my diabetes. As a matter of fact, it leaves everything to the doctor [which is good for the doctor with the God complex]. It eliminates the use of 95% of the data I get from my CGM and pump. He wants premeal BGs and a bedtime one, if I feel like it.
WHAT THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT?!
Isn't that taking a step BACK in diabetes management?
"Uh, yes ma'am, is sure as hell is." <--that's me, talking to myself.
See, there's this AVERAGE in diabetes that is a statement of about how much basal insulin a typical diabetic will use. The rates, starting at midnight, rise at predawn then slowly through the day decrease. Sooo, maybe I'm not that typical, but Dr. God, on seeing my rates, shook his head and said, "This is a mess."
He then proceeded to suggest changes that replicate what an average, healthy diabetic's basal rates should be.
But, after seven years on the pump and three kids later, I can tell you, without a doubt, that my basal rates do not follow that trend. WHAT?! how is that possible?! But, again, as with my last doctor, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. [or perhaps I just wanted to prove him wrong] But I changed my rates to his suggestions and watched my sugars go way up and stay there for three days, with just an occasional drop because of corrections.
Now, let me set you straight. Perhaps you want to believe I'm just too obstinate or rebellious or bad. It's true I've changed doctors a good bit, but at this point, it has never been because I disagreed with a doctor. I just move around a lot. My husband is in the Army so that plays a huge roll, too.
This is the first time in 23 years, I am about to cancel an appointment with a doctor because I hate him.
Part of me wants to write him a letter to make sure he knows that he is NOT helping the diabetic community. That his methods, even if they work for him or most of his patients, are not giving anyone the tools to manage their own diabetes.
Or I could just quietly leave.
What would you do?