Monday, November 9, 2009

Secret Feelings

BG: 114

I'm really okay with my diabetes. It can be pain, but overall...there are worse things. Like Diane, a mother from my kids' school who sings in the choir at church on Sunday and was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I complain about insurance, how inconvenient, how seemingly inefficient it is, yet I recieved 800 test strips last week and only paid $71. I might have paid $51, but wanted to get them overnighted. That's... Wow. I ordered the CGMS and paid just under $200. When I get down or discouraged about how much my premiums are, I only have to do the math to realize, I'm making out.

I got an email this evening that put me on RED alert. Selfish, unkind thoughts running rampant through my mind at the thought that my brother-in-law bought a house [and it's awesome! says he]. I'm really happy for him... and really surprised by the jealous, discontented feelings that sprung up in my heart over such good news. :(

What's your secret feeling? Is there someone you love, who you've never told? Do you dream of things that might never be? A dislike that brings you to your knees?

Some days, I feel that there is so much inside me...with nowhere to put it. It's like carrying that skeleton instead of stuffing it in the closet. *sigh*

How morose!!! [to be uplifted visit Kerri Sparling]
Better days on the morrow.
Take care,


Amy said...

Awww...sorry your having a rough day! I get the wanting to buy a house thing....we're renting and I'm secretly jealous of ALL who own!
Kerri's post was a GREAT one today...made me smile!

phonelady said...

yes and wow you are having an awfull time with feelings and all . I dont think we will ever own a home again unless we win the lottery .

Bethanne said...

too true, phonelady!!!! I swear, my next post will be up beat! :P Listing all of the blessings in my life. :D